Fighters Don't Cry
by CPegasus
Summary: It's after the Dark Tournament, 50 years ago. Genkai is back home in the mountains, alone, and remenicing about the way he used to be...GenkaixToguro,rating for minor language,spoilers ahead!


Hey everybody. Welcome to my first venture into Yu Yu Hakusho drama!  
  
Seriously, this isn't even close to my first angst-y romance fic. Jut my first one about YYH. I personally LOVE Genkai and Toguro as a couple, but I can't write fluffy, happy romances too well. So I went with this instead. Enjoy!  
  
***  
  
When she was finally home in the mountains, finally by herself, she started to cry.  
"St-stay strong," she told herself. "You-you're a winner of the Dark Tournament, you're a fighter. Fighter's don't cry..." it was no use. She had every reason to cry, after all this time. For months now, she'd had to watch her beloved transform into a monster.  
  
It hadn't always been this way. When she'd first met him, he was sweet and kind, and caring. The two of them would train together every day, both working hard to surpass the other's strength. There was no time she liked better than after their training, when they'd just be together, happy. Yes, there was dangerous work in that time, fighting demons, but they did it together. They always had each other's back, and neither would have let anything happen to the other.  
That was before all the madness began.  
While their Team was training, only a few months before the Dark Tournament began, the demon Kairen killed all of Toguro's students. That was the beginning. He disappeared until the tournament began, and came back changed. Before that day, she could always look forward to seeing him, to knowing that he would make her happy. But now, he was a different person. He never allowed anything to show through his brave exterior. No laughter crossed his lips, no love shined in his eyes.  
No love.  
That was the hardest thing to accept. They began to disagree on things they once had both known to be true. That one day on the river, during the Dark Tournament itself was when everything clicked. That day, they had talked for hours, but not nearly the way they used to.  
  
"You're a beautiful girl Genkai." He'd said.  
"Thank you."  
"Now come on, you used to love hearing me say that."  
"Used to..." Her voice caught in her throat. She couldn't say anymore.  
He pointed his index finger to her face. Her eyes widened a little, shining dully with gathering tears. She did not know then why she was beginning to cry. "You let your guard down, Genkai. You can't let anyone know what you're feeling while you fight. If you let yourself cry now, what's stopping you from revealing all your weak points to an opponent in the ring?"  
She quickly wiped her eyes. "I wasn't crying."  
"Good girl."  
"But...I think you're wrong, Toguro-kun." Without knowing it, she was happy to have him talking to her. It was still only a short time since he'd returned from his training, and she'd missed him. "While it's true that you shouldn't completely open yourself to an opponent, there's nothing wrong with showing emotion. I think that letting yourself feel releases the energy in those emotions, and it could make you much stronger."  
He leaned back in the boat, folding his arms across his chest. "Emotions only serve as a distraction during a fight. They stop you from thinking clearly and using your strength efficiently."  
"No, that isn't true," she took over the oars, gently guiding the boat along the river. "It's never good to get too hot-headed, but those feelings help to focus your strength."  
"It's all a waste of time and effort." He said dismissively. "Now come on, you're steering. Let's get back to the hotel." He pushed his sunglasses up his nose. Whatever she was about to say died before it could be said. She sighed instead, and docked the small boat on the shore.  
  
Everything just kept going downhill from that day. Granted, their team became stronger than ever, and they continued to sail through the tournament. But she would far rather be back at home, with him the way he used to be and all their skills less sharpened. Toguro became even more withdrawn and cold, and strong.  
It all came to a head in the final round. The last fight, to be exact. Genkai's battle was done, she limped out of the ring and sat on the grass, grateful to be alive. The match had already been long, and there was one fight left to determine it all. Both teams had lost two good fighters, and Toguro and Kairen would decide the whole match.  
After another long battle, Toguro ripped his old enemy apart. He signaled to Genkai and their other remaining team member to come into the ring to share the victory. Genkai could only glare at him. By now, the man in front of her was not the man she once knew. She saw no trace of his former self in his eyes, none of the happiness that once took over his face at seeing hers. Even though he smiled, he was not happy.  
Each living member of the winning team was granted one wish. The third member, strong but a bit simple, asked for wealth beyond his wildest dreams. He disappeared after that, no one knew what had happened to him.  
Toguro stepped up and addressed the Tournament Committee. "I want to be made into a demon." He kicked Kairen's body. "One as powerful as this- no, stronger! I want to be the strongest there is!"  
Genkai stood there, shocked. She couldn't fool herself, she'd guessed that her former love would want power. But a demon? He was the one who'd always fought demons beside her! And one like Kairen...it was horrible. He would only become what he hated the most. And what of her feelings? He didn't care. He just didn't care anymore. Not about life, not about anything  
Not about her.  
She stood trembling slightly. She stepped up beside him. "For my prize, I want to never be bothered by this damned tournament again! I never want to be back here, I never want to fight here again!"  
Only one of their wishes was to be granted, but for the moment, they got what they wanted.  
  
The girl walked into her little house in the mountains. She took the long braid out of her soft pink hair. Picking up a brush, she combed it straight, reflecting on everything that had happened. Seeing her miserable face in the mirror set her off again. She slammed the brush down and ran back outside.  
"I'm never going back there," she said to herself. "And I'm never going to see him again. I never want to see him again! NEVER! DO YOU HEAR ME TOGURO!? NEVER!" She sat on a rock, too upset to support herself anymore. She continued to yell to the sky. "I LOVED YOU! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER!?" The tears began to flow freely down her young face. "I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU! NOT EVER AGAIN! I HOPE YOU DIE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME! I HOPE YOU DIE!!!" She drew her legs into her chest, hugging her knees tightly. Her hair flew forward in the wind, casting a curtain over her tearstained cheeks. She threw her head back and screamed again. "DIE DAMN YOU!" Then she really broke down. She could barely breathe through her sobs.  
She wished she wouldn't have to be a fighter again. Fighters were strong. Fighters didn't cry. 


End file.
